(I don't care about the peeling, take me to the recipe for deviled eggs!)

I like deviled eggs. A lot. But I don’t make them often. Over the summer, though, I decided to make a batch to have something cool to grab from the fridge. Yes, that’s how long it’s taken me to get this put up.

And then I ran into the most difficult eggs to peel of my life. Usually peeling eggs is a little tedious, but these were something else.

I looked for advice. I tried everything here. I looked into how eggs are peeled commercially (ideal temperature for peeling is apparently 11°C). But nothing kept these eggs from sticking to their shells like superglue.

Finally, in frustration, I developed the “Fuck it, I’ve had it with your bullshit” (FIIHIWYB) method of peeling hard-boiled eggs. This only works for eggs that do not need to remain whole, but it works for eggs that will be halved, as for deviled eggs.

It’s very simple. Boil and cool the eggs as you normally would. Then slice them in half lengthwise, right through the shell. Remove any bits of shell on the egg–remarkably few!–and scoop the halves out with a spoon. Then make your egg salad, deviled eggs, or whatever you want.

The Recipe

Here’s my recipe for deviled eggs in case you don’t have one of your own yet:

1 dozen eggs
1/8 tsp ground celery seed
2 dashes Tabasco sauce
2 Tbsp Durkee Famous Sauce
3 Tbsp mayonnaise (I use Best Foods/Hellman’s)
1 Tbsp yellow mustard
1/4 tsp paprika plus more for serving

Hard boil* and cool the eggs, then peel them and slice them in half lengthwise.

Put yolks into a bowl or food processor with the rest of the ingredients and mash or process until smooth. You can add some mayonnaise if you find it a bit too thick.

Fill the egg halves by taking the yolk mixture and putting it into a piping/pastry bag and using that to fill the halves. If you don’t have a pastry bag, use a plastic sandwich bag with the corner cut off.

Sprinkle paprika on top for serving, if you like. I can never wait that long.

* In case you don’t have a preferred method of hard boiling eggs yet, try this:
Bring a pot of water to the boil.
Add eggs gently with a spoon, ladle, slotted spoon, or similar.
Boil for 12 minutes.
Remove the eggs and place in a bowl of ice water. Room temperature water will work, too, though you’ll probably want to change the water once after it has heated up from the eggs.